she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
