Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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