You're my little dorito
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
