sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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