You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
