My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
honey bunches of taint.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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