His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
