I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
