what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love having hate sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize