I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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