Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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