I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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