'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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