There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
