actually, I'm a sock model
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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