Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
