at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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