The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
