I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Blood and glitter go together right?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize