We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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