Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
