I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
