out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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