So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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