You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
