Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i've created a new STD.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
