so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
