ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
