Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
