Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
