I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize