The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
