At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
