well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
