Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize