I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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