My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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