Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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