I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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