so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
