Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
