this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize