I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
do herpes really smell.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize