Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
