This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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