dude i'm inner monologue high
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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