Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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