if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
