haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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