If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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