It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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