Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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