i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
