Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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