how can u be prego again
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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