That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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