That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
