Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
