one two three fourrrrnication!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
