i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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