New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize