I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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