I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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