I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
