So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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