i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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