he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
