Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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