That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
