i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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